I leave for basic two days after Christmas. So much time has passed but yet, I feel nothing has happened. All I seem to remember doing is working, and I can barely remember much of that. But next week is my last week of work, and this is what has been happening.
I’ve been chosen to make safety videos for Airsoft Colorado. I’m very happy about this, but I was instructed to make all 10 videos this past week, and I’ve only gotten one done. I have to admit, making videos isn’t easy, especially if you’re a perfectionist. Today, I had to go over a script several times along with many sound checks because I thought the microphone was broken. I was walking back and forth from the video studio to my boss’s office (who was out of town, so I was using his mac to edit the videos) pretty frequently. I didn’t think I was bothering Matt or JD (the only two people who were there), but clearly, I was wrong.
Near the end of the day, when I was finally able to start the video, I heard Matt talking to Frank (who had come in a few hours earlier). Although I was two rooms away and all I could hear was a few words, it was enough to piece together sentences. Sentences that spoke ill of me.
“Ozias hasn’t done sh*t today, all he is doing is walking back and forth from the studio to the office, what a lazy ass.”
I didn’t hear Frank’s response, probably because he just laughed him off about it. I’d imagine he’d do that, because we’re friends (or… I think we are). After hearing that, I couldn’t continue the video I was working on because my personal feelings shone strongly through my face. I couldn’t go on, I was way to stressed.
I went up to the rafters of the studio, an attic-like section where strange, random items are put like rugs and old computer monitors. I sat there and did a lot of thinking. I tried to piece together the clues… and I came out with a lot.
At first, I was very confused; why would Matt say something so invidious? It’s the most painful thing to know he was speaking behind my back when all I’ve ever done was be nice to him. To tell you the truth, I’ve never even liked him that much, and I’m still very kind to him. The reason for my animosity was because he is always standoffish towards me. I try to have a conversation with him, but he always ends it quickly and runs off. This bewildered me because sometimes he was very friendly with me.
Then I figured it out, he’s just a fake. The only recorded moments in my data show that he’s only nice to me when he wants something in return. Every other situation is in front of my boss, and he doesn’t want to look bad now, does he?
Whenever I’ve talked bad about somebody at work, it’s at home, to my mom, who doesn’t listen to me, or doesn’t even know what I’m talking about. I’m disturbed how somebody would talk bad about their co-workers at work, with other co-workers! Ha, look at me make a big deal about this when there’s no doubt that this happens all the time.
But all of this makes me happy for several things. The first one is being glad I turned down the invitation to the company Christmas party of 4 people (well, make that 3 now). After running through several simulations, I determined that it was something I wouldn’t of liked to partake in. Thank goodness, too! Now I really don’t want to go! Casey made a point that he wanted to make a company that “made happiness within the workplace.” Well, so much for that, Casey can talk all he wants, but he’s never around to do quality checks or to ensure everybody is doing well. That being said, the second reason I’m happy is because next week is my last week at work. I don’t want to see anybody I work with again, I just want to get this last week over with. Matt, Frank, and Casey can all go on their Christmas party together and do whatever. Casey can continue to think that Matt is this happy-go-lucky guy and continue to leave him in charge of the office. But whatever happens happens, I’ll be long-gone by then, and I’ll be incredibly lucky, too. It sounds like the next person they’re going to hire is the type of person that gets on my nerves.
Actually, now that I think about it, Casey seems to hire only a specific type of personality, I was the odd one out from the very beginning… Casey is aware of my talent and motivation, he has told me these things. I’ve been able to see the real side of many of the people at work, and they don’t match up with Casey’s personality type, I’m the closest one. I was reassured a little bit by this, Frank told me that Casey was upset recently since it will be my last days here next week.
I know Casey will miss me a lot, I firmly believe that I was unlike any employee he’s ever seen, but with so few employees and such a high demand, he has no choice but to hire whoever he gets. Being with Matt ever since he’s been hired, it’s clear that he’s just a selfish jerk that will do anything to get money. He’s motivated, but he’s motivated to the point where he will mow people down to get to the top, and that… bothers me. The worst part is that I genuinely believe he will make it to the top, and just the thought of all the people caught in his wake causes me a bit of anxiety. I pray he is stopped.
As for Frank, the only other employee who is staying after JD and I leave; I fear for him. Frank isn’t… very bright. Because of this, I can easily see Matt just using him as a stepping stone to domination. In several years, I just see him being in the same place he started… I wish him the best…
Just 5 days left of work, then I have other problems to deal with…